Crops Becoming Extinct
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Oklahoma City- In an early morning press release Wednesday, Farmers United and members of the Climate Logistics and Inclement Timing (C.L.I.T), announced that due to drastic weather changes in the Mid-West over the past decade that crops of Phuks are running out.
"These weather changes, albeit natural and "normal" have had a drastic effect on Phuks." says C.L.I.T spokesperson Jane Seymour, "The Phuk needs a humid and moist environment to thrive, and that's just no longer possible for the foreseeable future".
When asked what steps are being taken to maximize the remaining crops of Phuks, Richard Butz VP for Farmers United responded "I honestly do not know what we can do. The harvesting season is over and there are no more Phuks to plant for next season, meaning there wont be a next season".
At a press conference in D.C today, President Trump was asked if he had any knowledge of the situation and what, if anything, was being done.
"I am aware of the crop situation.." President Trump stated, "My staff and I have been working tirelessly on the situation, and members from the US Army Corps of Engineers have exhausted every possible option and avenue for the crops to succeed" he stressed when pushed on the subject "But it appears that, for the time being at least, that American farmers will be out of Phuks to give".
At her book signing Hillary Clinton stated profusely that "This is not my fault. I had nothing to do with this but I will do everything i can to make sure that someone, anyone, is held responsible".
Sources close to the Obama administration contacted our News Room prior to publishing and admitted that not only was President Obama made aware of the Phuk crisis, but that he was also "given a detailed and guided plan on how to successfully reverse the effects that the climate shift had on the Phuks" but President Obama reportedly responded "Phuk it".
President Obama and members of his staff have denied all allegations against him and his administration of having knowledge of the crisis.
Memebers of C.L.I.T say thatvthe climate change in question is nothing to worry about and will not effect human life in any way. Jane Seymour stated that "this change, although harmful for Phuks, is normal and natural for the effected region of the planet".
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.