Man Declares Himself King of Pennsylvania Coal Region
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Reuters - Marc Wayne - 01:00PM EDT
SHAMOKIN, PA - Former city director and Shamokin businessman, Ivan McFarland, has proclaimed himself "King of Pennsylvania's Coal Region" amid a power struggle with the city's ruling parties. And in a strange twist has scores of residents supporting of his efforts.
McFarland who owns a large textile mill on the outskirts of the city was ousted from his mostly voluntary position on the Shamokin Metropolitan Planning and Development Council after elections last November.
During the swearing in ceremony rumors of impropriety and voter fraud were rampant and McFarland refused to vacate his seat on the council. PA State Troopers were called in to physically remove McFarland from council quarters. In a scene reminiscent of the HBO series Game of Thrones, witnesses reported hearing the former director shouting "I am the king, bow down to me"and "you will never get away with this."
This news organization reached out to McFarland for comment. McFarland stated, "The people of this region have been bullied and exploited for far too long. Everywhere you look someone has their hand out ready to accept payment for a favor. I'm going to stop that. I'm going to make a barrier around the city and throw out anyone who opposes me. They did it down in Hazelton, heck we even got one going up in Mexico. Right now the only national chains we have are a Dukin Donuts on Sunbury St. and a Stuckey's on Clairmomt Ave. For starters I'm gonna bring in a Wal-Mart, how do you like that."
This weekend McFarland has a rally scheduled on the grounds of his factory and expects thousands of residents to turn out. We will have free beer, refreshments,and salads McFarland said.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.