Harvard Professor Discovers Amazing Cure
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Boston, MA (AP) - Researchers at the Harvard School of Medicine have made a groundbreaking discovery. They have concluded that the potato can cure erectile dysfunction or ED in adult males. But the news doesn't stop there. Research concluded that a diet rich in potatoes was found to actually increase penile length and circumference on laboratory test animals.
In the study, commissioned by the National Institute of Potato Growers Associatuon (NIPGA), researchers injected monkeys with pure potato extract for a period of twelve months. They discovered an enzyme found in potatoes helped some of the smaller monkey's in the study suffering from ED to become fully extended, and in some cases the monkeys actually added significant length. "The results were astounding," said Dr. Gino Sanders-Larson, head of Urology at the medical school. "We found the monkey's were lacking a specific gene in their biological make up. We used a control set and injected them three times a day with chemicals extracted from the potatoes."
The results of the study, to be published later this month in the New England Journal of Medicine will revolutionize the pharmaceutical industry. Dr. Sanders-Larson expects sales of potatoes to go through the roof. "We didn't anticipate this, and I expect the price of potatoes will double or triple as demand will skyrocket." He had a word of caution though for his medical students. "I've been ordering two or three potatoes whenever I go out for dinner with friends and I tell them I just like the taste. When news of the study goes public my friends are going to be looking at me a little differently," he laughed.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.