Local Man Caught Sexually Assaulting Chickens
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Local resident Joel Perdue, 32, was recently detained and arrested on suspicion of raping and killing at least 3 chickens in the Maple Valley, Auburn area. At approximately 3:45am on Saturday morning, local residents heard the sounds of extreme chicken gawking and loud grunts that sounded like a large man was being tortured. As Ricky Ricardo, owner of the property, approached his barn he spotted who has been identified as Joel Perdue menacingly raping a chicken while 2 other chickens lay dead from being fucked to death. Mr. Perdue was found balls deep in the owners prized chicken. Witnesses also report, while attempting to run away, Mr. Perdue took another chicken while screaming "Fuck Donald Trump! Ka-Ka! Ka-Ka!" Officials are advising all farmers to lock up their barns as there may be other Chicken Fuckers on the loose. Officials are offering a $500 reward on any information leading up to the arrest of known Chicken Fuckers.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.