Food shortage in west burbs.. suspect identified.
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The sudden food shortage in the west burbs has lead investigators to this woman...Known to many as 'the dog lady of Hillside'.
She has been spotted at many establishments eating her way through menus of various restaurants.
While not dangerous do not approach for your safety, as she may still be hungry.
Usually seen in the early hours near a Dunkin Donuts for her usual A.M. caffeine fix...if seen before hand do not attempt to eye contact as it could have deadly consequences.
For more information contact magnificentmutts.org or your nearest paw enforcement.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.