Win A Trip To Mars?

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If you read something that says "Win A Trip To Mars" you're reaction will be just like mine. You will be looking for the gimmick, trick or the real story behind it because there is no way NASA is going to give anyone a trip to Mars.
Five days ago my assignment editor told me that she had been receiving several questions from our readers wanting to know if what they have read on the internet, "Win A Trip To Mars", was real and ask me to check into it. Just like I resorted to the fastest method possible to verify the story. I Googled it. Finding many hoaxes and foolish ventures I was ready to write this off as yet another product of internet fantasy until I came across one news story from a press conference from Maj. Gen. Charles Frank Bolden, Jr., (USMC-Ret.) who is the current NASA administrator which did corroborate at least some of the facts. I swallowed my pride and with doubt in my heart made the call to his office. You are probably expecting me to say there are no tricks or gimmick and it's all real. This reporter certainly wishes he could say there are no tricks or gimmicks and it is a straight forward contest where one lucky winner will go to Mars. There are indeed no tricks but the chances of you winning this contest are very slim at best.
According to Bolden there is indeed a contest that could win one lucky person a seat on the first manned mission to Mars slated early in the 2030 year range but don't pack your bags just yet. The forthcoming contest information are extensive and one probably needs a Ph.D. to understand it. When contacted Bolden cited extreme public apathy in America's space program as the reason for the constant decline in NASA's budget which was $19.3 Billion for FY 2017 but has been reduced, by President Donald Trump, to $19.1 Billion for FY 2018. Bolden said that even though President Trump claims he wants to further space exploration he still cut NASA's budget as all Presidents have done for the past 30 years. Bolden explained that since the early days of the Space Shuttle program most Americans cannot remember the last time they knew about anything NASA was doing or planning to do and that the last major news coverage given to NASA was on February 1st, 2003 when the Space Shuttle Columbia, STS-107, disintegrated upon reentry killing the crew of seven. Bolden said "If America ever hopes to land a person on Mars we need the money and public support to do it". Bolden said that in 1962 the Apollo budget was $25 Billion but in today's dollars that would have been over $200 Billion and if America wants to send people to Mars this is the type of budget they need but the only way this will happen is to gain the support of the American tax payers. Bolden told us that on Friday, November 3rd, 2017, he gave a press conference which he stated was attended by less that 20 people where he announced the contest and further offered this as proof of the lack of support or attention the agency receives even by the press. Although Bolden is the current administrator of NASA he will be replaced soon. President Trump has announced his nominee for the position who is U.S. Representative Jim Bridenstine (R-OK). When contacted about the contest idea Bridenstine said "This sounds exactly what the agency needs to get American's thinking about space again. After my confirmation, as the new NASA administrator, I plan to continue this contest." So yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus and this contest is real as well but if you think you're the lucky one to win I wouldn't count my rockets before they've launched just yet.
After receiving the contest guidelines it reads much like an Apollo rocket launch checklist that is full of unknown abbreviations and terms only a rocket scientist could understand. After an additional ten or so phone calls to Bolden's office I believe I have a basic understanding of the contest, it's rules and stipulations.
To raise public awareness and gain support for NASA the agency plans to utilize Social Media to determine the contest winner. It is really a simple contest according to NASA. All you need to do is be the one with the most shares of an original post, by you, that has a link to a credited news story containing the contest information. This sounds very simple and straight forwards until you try to sort through the seven pages of plans, clauses and guidelines of the contest which NASA provided me. To qualify as an official news source for this contest I must now go over the entire contest and when finished if you meet all of the qualifications simply copy a link to this story to your favorite Social Media source, either Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and be the one with the most shares or retweets. On December 31st, 2017 at midnight the contest is over. To submit your entry you must first call the NASA Newsroom: 202-358-1600 Press Office Hours: 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. Eastern U.S. time. You will then inform them that you are personally entering the contest. Once they have taken your vital information down you will be ask to contact them again using e-mail to the following address: [email protected] with the Subject being "Mars Contest Entry". In your e-mail you will be ask to prove the total number of unique shares or retweets via a screen capture. The shares or retweets must be made by real and verifiable people who were following you on or before November 3rd, 2017 which was when Administrator Bolden announced the contest. After your entry is verified you must agree to allow them to audit your social media account to verify the actual number of shares or retweets you have received. That does not sound too complicated so far. If, however, one of your shares or retweets is made by a person who was not following you on or before November 3rd, 2017 you may be disqualified from the contest. If you send the e-mail prior to contacting them via telephone your entry will be disqualified.
In theory the contest doesn't seem too complicated until you try to figure out if you even meet the qualifications to enter. You must be an American citizen either by birth or naturalization. You must be willing to put your life on hold for a minimum of 6 years. There will be two and a half years to three and a half years for the actual mission plus an additional and four years of testing and training prior to the mission. This means if you have a job in the real world you will have to give it up. You must be in excellent physical and mental condition with no medical problems or dependency on any medication at the time of the contest entry or on the actual date of the mission. Weight is a vital factor for a mission to Mars and cannot not be spared even for medication such as blood pressure pills. This last stipulation already eliminated me. The contest ends at midnight on December 31st, 2017. Any shares or retweets counted after this time will disqualify you from the contest.
Now if you still think you have "The Right Stuff" to go you should know that just because you are the most popular does not guarantee your trip. The top 1,000 will actually be winners but not necessarily the trip to Mars. Being in the top 1,000 only means that you qualify to be screened for the trip. From there the top 100 of those will actually go for serious physical and mental evaluation. If you are lucky enough to make it to the top 100 you are really no closer to going to Mars than you are right now. Of the top 100 your physical and metal fitness will be tested as well as your aptitude for learning and coping with problems and then of those only ten will be chosen and then the real contest will start. You will be competing against one another in all areas that an astronaut must perform in. As mentioned there can be no dead weight on this flight so you must be smart enough and physically fit enough to cross train with the other astronauts and be able to fulfill curtail parts of their mission should they become incapacitated during the mission. In short you'll have to become a real astronaut. If you can make it to the top ten there is still no guarantee you will be the one that's on their way to Mars. According to Bolden the actual winner will not be announced from the ten finalist until an actual launch date is announced which is likely not to come until the mid or late 2020 year range. So what will you be doing until then? You will be continuing to be a public representative for NASA on Social Media as well as doing public appearances raising awareness and public support for NASA and America's space program. In short you will be training to be an astronaut.
Although this is a legitimate contest and one lucky person "could" really be on their way to Mars it seems proper to warn you that all things are subject to change. At any time NASA reserves the right to change, amend or even cancel this contest up until the day you actually launch.
From my point of view, and seeing how I don't qualify to go, although this is a verified contest the chances are very remote that there could be a common person out there who can pass all of the tests and meet all of the qualifications for a mission that is still decades away as well as that same unknown person being selected by popularity from Social Media. With that said, however, there still remains the real chance that you could be that one in a million chance. If you think NASA is looking for you then by all means start counting your shares of this story or other officially credited news source version of it and if you are the winner you may be my next interview on the subject as well as being on your way to Mars.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.