Linda Sue McMahan: Senior Manager and Grandmother
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Mrs. McMahon is a go getter, administrator and full time mother and like millions of other women in the US, a working grandmother. Current residents at the senior complex she manages, which is located in La Verne, CA, and nestled in Eastern Los Angeles County, have rallied in her defense.
The hipster granny has recently advocated for marijuana using seniors to be purged from the complex because of a spike in senior-on-senior violence that has manifested exponentially since the ingestion of cannabis-laced cookies has skyrocketed amongst the residential population.
concomitantly, according to LA Verne police 911 calls from the complex have also increased, but are mostly related to a handful of residents that have proposed turning the facilities at the corner of Damien and Bonita Avenues, into a bonafide nudist friendly complex, and insist on walking, swimming, BBQing, and playing bingo in their "birthday suits," collectively.
McMahon stated, "I don't mind their using marijuana, that's not the issue, it's when this group gets high they all of a sudden want to walk around naked, they come to the family friendly recreation center where my office is, so i see them parade around nude sometimes even when I am meeting with potential residents I am interviewing. If they were in their 20s it may be more palatable but these are seniors and when we reach into that age group everything seems to head south and it's a little shocking sometimes for young visitors who sometimes just pass through the apartments hoping they might see a younger nudist around their age, so it is attracting people who may also be putting us all in some form of danger."
One resident who chose to remain unidentified asserted that, "...all these perverts who do nothing but embarrass themselves by letting it all hang out literally, I support management and I will do what I have to do to ensure we keep our complex drug and sexually perversion free, call me crazy."
"To this end, no arrests have been made because of the cooperation that is quickly expressed upon out arrival," stated " La Verne Police Corporal Marty Cohen."
Neighbors of the complex refused to comment out of respect, "C'mon, these are our elders and have lived full lives, raised families, and have been successful in their careers and just want to wind down in their golden years, and if smoking out, or eating marijuana laced goodies, catching a buzz and walking around naked is what they want to do, then I say let them." Not all neighbors agree however.
S. Carey Butte has submitted the only formal police complaint because her daughter has made excuses to visit the complex. Butte stated "My daughter is 16 years old, how do i explain to her that public nudity is not an acceptable behavior when she has witnessed numerous senior residents walk out of their homes in the mornings to get their newspapers wearing only slippers and socks because their feet are cold I guess."
McMahan claimed that the owner of the privately owned complex is well aware of the nudity that has captured the community. In contrast to her, the owner of the complex has embraced the growing group of senior nudists that are bringing another facet to aging. Gerentologists agree that sexual activity amongst seniors is normal but what perplexes La Verne University Professor and Gerentologist P.N. Ché Veajo, is that "drug usage outside of ingestation medicinally, specifically in terms of recreational ingestion, is an area that remains grossly understudied."
The group has banded together and remains strong and is growing, and gender remains a non issue. In fact, some of the altercations that have gone unreported to police have involved female residents according to residents speaking anonymously. McMahan still wants to evict the nudist residents on grounds of "indecent exposure," because "what they are doing, specifically showing, is not decent at all, and using the gateway drug makes the seniors in the 'nudist club' vulnerable to begin using harder drugs, which can get quickly out of control and make our complex dangerously unsafe and drive rental rates down."
There will be a clothing optional public meeting on the final Friday of the month at 6pm in the senior recreational center located on site. refreshments will be served, and meet and greets will preceed and follow the community involvement meeting.
Please contact me for questions:
Sam Cho Tilinga
editor and commentator in chief
[email protected]
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.