Mike O’Donnell to Open WWE Royal Rumble

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The WWE has decided to kick off one of their premiere Pay Per View events with 20 minutes of standup comedy. Tasked with bringing the funny to this year’s Royal Rumble is Central Pennsylvania comedian Mike O’Donnell.

“As a longtime fan of WWE, this is pretty fucking awesome,” said O’Donnell. “I have no idea why they’re having a comedian open the Rumble, but it makes as much sense as having Kid Rock sing during a Divas Battle Royale or that House of Horrors match from last year.”

Michael Dickman, a representative for WWE, said O’Donnell was selected based on his decimation of fellow comic Manny Santiago during a roast battle at a hotel bar in Reading, Pennsylvania last November. “We saw the savage way in which Mike took Manny down, and we know that’s the kind of ruthless aggression WWE fans will appreciate. We were going to put Manny on the show too, but who the fuck wants a juggler in a wrestling ring? This isn’t the 1980s.”

Tickets for the Royal Rumble range between $79.99 and $565 for a VIP package. That sounds like a lot of money, but look at it this way, some dumb motherfuckers are paying $52 to see Jeff Dunham the following month in Reading.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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