Wilkes Barre Man Selected To Become First Person On Mars

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Mark Tomchak of Wilkes Barre has been selected to become the first person on the red planet. Mark was selected over 1000s of submissions. NASA chief Richard Longbottum stated that Mark was mainly chosen due to his natural resemblance to any native Martian inhabitants. Also considered was Mark's abilities to catch stocked fish out of streams, his successful harvesting of tame wildlife and his ability to produce a perfectly made pancake. A launch date for July 16, 2020 has been placed.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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