Adding Ketchup to Steak Now Considered a Felony

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Federal lawmakers decided today, in a groundbreaking unanimous Congressional vote, that adding ketchup (sometimes spelled “catsup”) to a finely cooked steak shall now be a federal offense. Adding the sugary, tomato-based sauce to any cut of beef that falls under the category of “steak” shall now be considered a felony, and punishable with up to 15 years and no less than 5 years in a Federal penitentiary.

When asked to comment, one Senator was quoted as saying, “It takes a sick individual to willingly corrupt one of life’s great treasures, and a good steak is one of the greatest. Criminals, such as Scott (pointing to one particular, bald headed man), who add ketchup to their steak shall forevermore be punished to the fullest extent of the law!”

Additionally, individuals convicted of said crime will be submitted into a federal “Steak Offenders” list for life, and will be required to announce their status on this list at any BBQ they attend, for the remainder of their natural life.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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