BREAKING: Bad Weather News Correspondent Shortages

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Due to the extreme weather that is sweeping the UK at the moment, there has been reported a worrying shortage of Bad Weather News Correspondents that are able to be deployed into deep snow situations and tell everyone how bad it is.

Speaking from the South London based Bad Weather News Correspondent Depot (B.W.N.C.D) that all News Correspondents for the United Kingdom of Britain (U.K.B.) are distributed from, manager Sebastian Pumpi (18) says that numbers are dangerously low.

"Numbers are dangerously low. We are at full stretch just now. What with Cameron Buttle (44) is up to his knees in the Borders, Alastair Leithead (54) slipping on a pavement in Sunderland and Danny Savage (39) with snow in his hair in Kent, we may have to start drafting in the Big Guns with the likes of George Alagia (74) or Evan Davis (63) off Dragon's Den to take up the slack in windswept, snowy areas."

"In my 12 week tenure as manager of the B.W.N.C.D (Bad Weather News Correspondent Depot) I have seen nothing like this", he continues. "There is even talk of de-commissioning Richard Baker (102) and Kenneth Kendall (103) to help with duties."

The treacherous weather conditions show no sign of abating and it is believed that last night alone, over 6500 News Correspondents were sent into action up and down the streets and fields of the Great Kingdom of Britain (G.K.B.)

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