Cocaine Not so Bad After All

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Barnaby Jones. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.


In a shocking study, findings show that daily usage of the drug known as cocaine promotes long term immune system endurance.

Test subjects in Brazil, mostly in nursing homes, find that despite multiple ailments and weakened physical constitutions, they are able to leap over buildings and punch through concrete a mere 15 seconds after taking the street drug. The most significant finding is that users, despite the majority being over 80 years old, suddenly felt like the were going to “live forever”, and that they once again had “lightning in their veins”.

One resident even went so far as to say that she was going to, “burn this place down, and Ethel with it”

We will continue to update the public as more information becomes available about this miracle.




- Barnaby Jones is probably an award winning journalist. At the very least he graduated from college, though no documentation has been presented. Though he does have significant stock in cocaine, he insists this does not affect his journalistic integrity. Stay gold pony boy.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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