Midland, ON. Corrections Officer Chokes to Death on a Thousand Cocks
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Sargeant Drew Carpenter passed unexpectedly on Friday, October the 27th, year of our lord 2018. His beautiful corpse was found majestically impaled by countless prosthetic genitals of various size and ethnicity. Said his once close friend, Consuela Flood, "He was a nice enough guy. Bit of a mope, but I liked him better that way." His widow, long-time spouse Svetlana, could not be reached for comment. His celebration of life will ve held next Saturday, November 3rd. His family asked that you not bring photographs between the years of 1997 and 2001, because he had gay hair.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.