Breaking News Out Of Dallas
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Jerry Jones, one of the most masterful and creative Owner / General Managers in the NFL has once again set a precedent that will astonish fans. His vast football knowledge and managerial skills never ceases to amaze. Jones has just announced a Promotion for 9 year Head Coach Jason Garrett. Garrett who has a .559 Win Percentage over his tenure will now be in a position better fit for his talents. As the new President of Player Relations he can become friends with all the players on the team. His sideline presence of clapping and low fiving players can continue into the next regimen. Garrett will now be in charge of Player Moral. Butt pats and helmet taps will play a major roll in his new position. Jones has accessed his abilities and found, the proper position for his able colleague. When asked about the new position which, is not found in any NFL Staff Jones commented "The NFL didn't have cheerleaders until the Cowboys introduced them either." This reporter finds it odd that Jerry would compare this New Position to Cheer-leading. Even, if that's what Garrett identifies as.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.