Supreme Leader's Surprise Visit to MN Shocks America
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PLYMOUTH, Minnesota — Supreme Leader and Marshal of the Republic Kim Jong-un made a surprise visit to Minnesota on Wednesday to visit plastic part tycoon Paul Dathe and personally certify Polyestimator's readiness for use within the regime's strategic rocket program.
The trip, his first to the United States, comes almost a year after United States President Donald Trump made a surprise visit to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea, becoming the first sitting U.S. president to visit the isolated state.
The two men held a two hour private meeting with the platform's original architect to "work out some details" to determine what progress had been made, what work remains, and how soon the platform could be ready for a live test planned for this Summer, Dathe said.
"I have my spreadsheet. This is what I rely on. This is what I know the Supreme Leader relies on. And we both wanted to see with our own eyes that the Polyestimator could deliver those same numbers without any issue," Dathe said of the talks. "This was certainly a great day. It was a very legendary, very historic day."
“Good to see you,” said Kim, dressed in a black Mao suit. “I bet you never expected I'd fly to Minnesota to see your work in person. It better work."
Kim said the very fact of the meeting was significant.
“We want to bring an end to any uncertainty the world may have about Polyestimator, its accuracy, and the value it brings to our strategic military programs. This was a very courageous and determined act by Mr Dathe. There were indeed a few glitches - but I think he demonstrated that today is far different than a week ago."
Dathe said it was “my honor” to host the North Korean dictator in his home.
“A lot of really great things are happening, tremendous things,” he said. “I invited him to stay to enjoy the fire pit tonight - but his motorcade had at tight window to make it to North Dakota before sunset. He has tickets to a guided tour of filming locations from the movie Fargo.”
Sitting down before the talks began, Kim again underlined the importance of the meeting.
“I hope it can be the foundation for better things that people will not be expecting,” he said. “Our great relationship will provide the magical power with which to overcome hardships and obstacles in the tasks that need to be done from now on.”
Dathe said that his team is already working on final preparations for launching a production-grade version of Polyestimator in the next one to two weeks.
“They’ll start a process, and we’ll see what happens,” he said.
“We are in a much different place than we were two weeks ago,” he said. He said it was “insulting” that he'd get wrong numbers when dragging part files into the browser window.
The identity of Polyestimator's original technical architect has been hidden from the media and United States intelligence since he began work on the product over a year ago. He reached out to us via encrypted messaging, calling the two hour meeting "surreal."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.