Local route salesman delivers more than snacks

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Yesterday began as any other in the life of Frito lay salesman Brian Vincent,but it ended up being one he wouldn't forget.While serving one of the stores on his route,he noticed a heavy set man holding his stomach area and grimacing in pain.Thinking he just ate one of the chili dogs from the roller grill,he could understand that reaction and thought nothing of it.Outside in parking lot Vincent noticed man again as he walked passed the open doors of his delivery truck."Tears were running down his cheeks and he dropped to his knees",he recalled.Trained in some rudimentary first aid skills from a year in Boy Scouts,the Frito man had the man come and sit on his bumper to catch his breath.
"That's when the excitement escalated.He started heaving and coughing,saying his guts were coming out.Then he told me he was about to give birth.I thought he was a he,but maybe he was just a she that looked a he",said the Good Samaritan.Remembering the birth of his own children,Mr Vincent had the patient lay on their back and drop their pants.All the while coaching them to breathe.
"Once the pants were off I could see that she was indeed a he,and the problem was that he had stolen a jar of salsa by sticking it up his ass!" Vincent told this reporter.
"I figured we're already this far into it,might as well finish it!after ten ten minutes of pushing and at one point being elbow deep in a strangers colon,We successfully remove 8 jars of herrs chunky salsa from that dumb bastards ass! What a day!"
What a day indeed.Local authorities soon showed up and arrested the would be thief,even allowing Vincent to keep the salsa he so bravely retrieved....

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.