BREAKING: Irrate shopper receives lifetime ban
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Erskine resident Scott Bell has been arrested following a string of attacks carried out this afternoon. At approximately 2PM , security in the local supermarket received complaints about Scott harassing other customers. Demanding if they knew who he was, and what they thought of the song playing from the Ericsson speakers, dangling from his neck. Unable to source the positive feedback he desperately sought after, he began lashing out. Bashing a man over the head with a fresh trout, and attempting to strangle another with the laces of his Reebox trainers before security wrestled the lockback out of his hands, and restrained him until the police could arrive. As he was dragged away, he could be heard screaming "WHO YOUS EVEN DONE TUNES WAE" and managed to kick over boxes of Wheetabix, before being fully restrained. We reached out to Morrisons for comment, who confirmed that "his face is noted" and he wont be allowed back.
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