Astronauts Hijack International Space Station
Monday 14 June 2059 13352 Shares
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL.— Astronauts currently aboard the International Space Station (ISS) have joined together and collectively refuse to return to Earth. NASA was preparing to welcome back two astronauts today from a historic mission, when Ross Benning and Ed Stines declined to initiate re-entrance procedures.
By mid-day, China disclosed that its astronauts had been in "unapproved conversations" with the Russians. SpaceX, who has two astronauts on board, reported that the astronauts had conspired together to avoid returning to Earth.
According to the Director of Operations at SpaceX, the astronauts hoped to live independently for an indefinite period, but at least until COVID-19 is reigned in. "And then we realized, they have everything they need to sustain themselves: plant experiments, lab animals, solar energy, duct tape, and healthy men & women. Honestly, I wish I were on that craft".