Violence at Harrisburg Wal-Mart
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Friday, April 1st 2021, officers were called to the Wal-Mart on Grayson rd in Harrisburg for a fight that broke out. It was suspected that Hummelstown resident Torri Kugle, 31, had injured York resident Rusty Shackelford, 27, by hitting Shackelford's head on a car window after he was seen hitting his wife Nancy Gribble, in front of their son Joseph. Kugle stated in an interview that he was simply trying to get Shackelford "if that's even his real name" away from Nancy. We recieved an email from Swatara township chief, Rosco P. Coltrane this morning. "We have re viewed the Lot Cop portable camera system in Walmart's parking lot to reveal that Kugle was in fact simply trying to get Shackelford away from Nancy Gribble. Shackelford tripped, thus sending his goofy ass through the car window. The silly son of a bitch owes Kugle a new window and Joseph is now with his real father, John Redcorn." When officers were reading Kugle his rights, at the point they said "anything you say can and will be held against you", Kugle promptly said "boobs". What a smartass! That dude is a motherfuckin legend!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.