FAMOUS CARMEX THIEF STRIKES AGAIN
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YOU ALL MAY REMEMBER SEVERAL WEEKS AGO FORMER BOGAN WRESTLING STAR GREGORY N. TOLBERT HAD AN UNPLEASANT DAY OF SHOPPING AN CARMEX STEALING FROM A LOCAL WALGREENS. WHERE HE WAS FOREVER BANNED AND RECEIVED MINIMAL AMOUNT OF JAIL TIME.
ON OR ABOUT MARCH 20TH OF 2017 TOLBERT BETTER KNOWN AS "A HALF OF A PLAYA" DECIDED TOO CHANGE HIS CRIMINAL WAYS AND ACTIVELY ONLY STEAL LUBRICATING PRODUCTS FOR HIS CHAPPED ASS LIPS AND JEWELRY COME TO FIND OUT. WITNESSES HAD THIS TO SAY:
"Yah i saw the guy throwing a rope an it tying up as if he was Spider-Man and the rope was his web as he was escaping out the back.
Another witness accounts says they noticed a dark-skinned but glowing in the dark man run past an say my rope i mean web stop working....so now i must use the Soul-Glo spirit to get away an sang some weird song like in da "2012 Movie Dysfunctional Friends" called the "Baby Oil Song"as he poured mini bottle after mini bottle of baby oil upon himself.
Final witness stated she was startled when the at time Dark an Shinny individual approach her and demanded keys to her car as she stated the car was still running so he got in but got back out because for whatever reason or another the check oil light came on numerous of times which frustrated MURDOCK as he proceded in his get away.
Reports say Murdock made some form of distress call and received support from his now known co-conspirator Vladimir A.K.A "HAITIAN JACK" BETTER KNOWN AS PEPE.
BREAKING NEWS:::: WE'VE JUST RECIEVED A PHOTO AND STATEMENT FROM FUGITIVE AT LARGE MURDOCK... YAH MAN I HAD 2DO WHAT I HAD 2DO IT AINT FREE AND EAZY KEEPING MY JEWELRY SHINNING LIKE BLING BLING AND MY LIPS SO GLOSSY AND ON FLEEK SO CATCH ME IF U CAN AND WATCH ME EASE AWAY LIKE WATER ON A SLIP N SLIDE AGAIN...... EVERYONE PLEASE BE SAFE AND IF YOUR CHECK OIL LIGHT COMES ON OR YOUR COOLANT LIGHT COMES ON OR ANY INDICATION OF SOME TYPE OF LUBRICANT IS NEEEDED FOR YOUR CAR TAKE IT TO A PROFESSIONAL UNTIL WE CATCH MURDOCK WHOSE GRADUATED FROM CARMEX THEIF TOO SOME TYPE OF LUBRICATION FANATIC OR LUBE SUPERHERO AS HIS SIGNATURE ON THE BACKSIDE OF ABOVE PICTURE SAYS................
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.