Cardinal's Matt Carpenter Suggests Flub Was Intentional
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After an opening day 4-3 victory over the Chicago Cubs, St. Louis infielder Matt Carpenter told reporters he felt so sorry for Jason Heyward that he "helped him out" by fumbling the Cub outfielder's ninth inning grounder into an infield single. Carpenter went on to say "that game needed more drama and we wanted to send a message...with the game tied we could then win in soul crushing fashion". The league has indicated they will investigating the situation as soon as they finish compiling empirical data on how the new intentional walk rules have shortened game duration.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.