Breaking News - Vatican and world governments announce..
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Amongst all the celebration of this years Easter holiday, a Vatican spokesperson, as well as several world leaders, have just announced that a man by the name of Hermes Jones is officially the coldest muthafucka on the planet. This following a statement from local authorities as well as testimony from a slew of eyewitness accounts. Several outraged men have come forth about him having relations with their spouses, as well as spurratic withdrawals from their joint bank accounts shortly thereafter. If you are lucky enough to come across this man during your lifetime, please exercise caution in how you approach and address him, for as the Pope himself one said speaking of Mr. Jones, "stand down in his presence, his pimp hand is way strong". Another statement from local authorities affirms that he has, what they call "too much sauce"...
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.