Portage Woman Charged With Smearing Feces On Herself And Urinating On Stolen Horse

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Friday 21 January 2059 22240 Shares

Late last Wednesday, police responded to a Portage woman smearing fresh human excrament on herself, while riding a stolen horse that she had aquired from an amish community. Evelyn Vann (23), had gotten extremely fucked up off of malt liquor and hennessey, broke into an amish community, and stole a horse. She was then dismounted from the horse by the police while urinating. It is reported that nobody was harmed in the incident but the horse has died from sickle cell disease.

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