Local Boy Jamie Baldock Gets Koshed By The Lochness Monster
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Local boy Jamie Baldock was viciously attacked in Eastbourne station at approximately 4.30 on Friday night. CCTV footage from the scene shows Jamie being approached by what appears to be the mythological sea creature of the Scottish lake- Lochness. Jamie was koshed 14 times and the creature preceded to rape him for 10 minutes before passer by Joe Wood came to his aid with a giant spatula. Jamie was quoted saying "my arse hurts a bit but thank god for chefs". Police are still investigating. Please subscribe for more breaking news.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.