Saint Pete’s Newest Resident Reflects
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The newest resident to Saint Petersburg found himself reflecting on days gone by, vibes past and current, and finding peace in the waves around him these days.
Hailing from the gentrification capital of America (Austin, TX), Brandon Patching worries that his love of great Mexican food will never be fulfilled here in Florida, but his re-found love in the arms of his lifetime love should ease the pain as they search together.
Patching told us, “The sauce is meh, but I’ll keep searching...there is this one place that’s pretty dang good.”
Brandon also recently added another fur baby to the family, and he vows to not stop adopting pets until he has 10 dogs, 2 cats, 4 frogs, a Jackson chameleon, and of all things, a horse.
When asked if he would consider taking up golf here in Florida, Mr. Patching mumbled something that this reporter can only describe as, “fredneh de shitte”, or something like that.
Welcome to Saint Petersburg, Brandon Patching, the sun, and your love with Nicole looks good on you, amigo! Hook ‘Em
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.