Cocaine Not so Bad Afterall
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In a shocking study, findings show that daily usage of the drug known as cocaine promotes long term immune system endurance. Test subjects in Brazil, mostly in nursing homes, find that despite multiple ailments and weakened physical constitutions, they are able to leap over buildings and punch through concrete a mere 15 seconds after taking the street drug. The most significant finding is that users, despite the majority being over 80 years old, suddenly felt like the were going to live forever, and that they once again had lightning in their veins. We will continue to update the public as more information becomes available about this miracle.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.