Area Man Awarded Lifetime Achievement Award for Micropenis
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Local man, Martin Cusack, was presented the Lifetime Achievement Award for his extremely small micropenis. "I am very humbled by this" Martin said with a smile on his face. "Until I was 8 years old I wasn't even aware penises were supposed to grow at all!"
In order to verify that Martin was eligible for the award at all, a team of judges had to inspect his genitals to confirm he had a shaft, otherwise it technically wouldn't be considered a penis. "To be honest, we were skeptical at first because it looked like he just tried to pull a fast one on us by gluing an acorn to the bottom of his torso" head judge Theodore Bloom stated. "We were able to confirm he did have a shaft after we rented a very powerful microscope."
The news of his winning lifted Martin's spirit after recently coming in third at the "Favorite Father of Maggie and Steve" contest,
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.