Impasse at Bowling's Music Volume Summit: Petraglia Ends Deadlocked, Sabotaged Peace Talks

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At the end of four hours of marathon negotiations between Brian Theriault and Holly Stadtler, a visibly fatigued Johnny Petraglia emerged from the party room with fellow legend Mark Roth and announced that they were unable to reach an agreement on music volume "at this time."

Petraglia and other mediators dispatched from the PBA50, including Peter Weber and Norm Duke, made it clear that it was Holly Stadtler who balked in the end, and by all accounts the stumbling block was playlist and track selection, a topic that all parties agreed would be off limits until a settlement was first reached on volume.

Speaking from the office of Rockaway Lanes, Mr. Petraglia singled out Brian Theriault for his readiness to make hard compromises. ''I would be making a mistake not to praise Brian, because I think he took a big risk,'' Petraglia said. ''It's very rare you see someone with Brian's skill take on the wife of a league's top bowler" - a statement cut short by Ricky McColligan who interrupted one of the sport's living greats to inform the press that Jason is only the best if you don't include subs.

Dismissing McColligan and redirecting attention to the summit, Petraglia continued, "We were ten minutes away from Holly admitting that the music was likely contributing to Brian running only second in high average when we caught her passing notes with that greaseball from Venezuela. And then everything went to hell."

BreakingNews365 has confirmed that it was Venezuelan bowling star Amleto Monacelli who was found relaying handwritten notes between Liza and Holly during the closed-door negotiations. While the contents of the notes have yet to be released, a source close to the situation stated that they offer a "disturbing glimpse into the dominance that Liza Gregovich wields over Holly", opining that "she's nothing more than her puppet."

It was widely reported that Gregovich expected to participate directly in the summit's negotiations - a plan Petraglia foiled by instructing Sergeant at Arms Wes Malott to forcibly remove her from the building before talks began.

The decision to remove Liza was based on advice from Pete Weber relating to her checkered past and involvement in bowling alley drama. This includes a stint as league president, a role she later abandoned when it failed to advance her erotic interests with a bowler whose identity is being protected under USBC Rule 391d, Section F.

USBC Rule 391d, Section F, requires that "any bowler who doubles as a professional wrestler must be exempt from any investigation, scrutiny, or discipline put forth by a league officer, lane representative, or the press." While our organization cannot release the individual's name, we can state that the league only has one bowler who doubles as a professional wrestler - and said wrestler is known for his high-flying Lucha libre wrestling style.

The stage was set for the PBA50's ambitious attempt to reach a sweeping settlement on music volume - and just as both parties were near agreement, surveillance cameras show Liza Gregovich pulling back into the Rockaway Lanes parking lot.

Later analysis of the footage depicts Monacelli joining her in her parked vehicle, disappearing into the front passenger-side door and emerging eight minutes later from the back driver-side door. He can be seen carrying a piece of paper the same shape and color of what was reportedly slipped to Holly immediately before negotiations fell apart.

In a briefing before he left for home, Mr. Petraglia put the onus of failure squarely on Liza Gregovich. ''We were ready to end the conflict, we looked for an equilibrium point that will provide entertainment for music lovers and peace for focused bowlers, but unfortunately Liza somehow was able to exert her influence from outside in the parking lot,'' the PBA and USBC Hall-of-Famer said.

''Every week that league goes without an agreement on volume, it will put more pressure on the house to unilaterally shutdown music for everyone," said Liesl Apgar. "Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to remember the day at Rockaway when the music died. But that looks like where we're headed."