Comander Kleeman Declares State of Emergency on Lake Tippecaone
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Kent Kleeman, Supreme Commander of the Lake Tippecanoe Fresh Water Safety Commission (well known author of "101 Rules For Safe Wading), has declared a state of emergency for the entire watershed. Commander Kleeman states the recent infestation of 10 to 15 foot Bull Sharks has made this necessary. "We sincerely regret taking this drastic action during a holiday weekend" says Kleeman. During the state of emergency, no one will be allowed on or in the lake. Additionally, property owners are advised to stay off of their piers and keep all pets out of the water. Urinating off a pier is especially dangerous according to Kleeman because bull sharks are highly attracted to beer infused urine and small, wormlike objects. In closing, Kleeman stresses the Lake Tippecanoe Fresh Water Safety Commission safety pledge "Completely Dry is Completely Safe"!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.