Swink man, Anthony Turner, arrested in large penis theft ring
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FBI agents made an astonishing discovery this morning while executing a search warrant at the residence of a known sex offender & unemployed house father: 3,178 embalmed human penises.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation suspected 50-year old Anthony Turner of really, really liking the taste of weiners.
Investigating several reports of missing organs and body parts, dozens of agents raided his residence this morning, hoping to find evidence of his involvement in the crimes.
What they found on the site was a lot more disturbing than what they expected, as the FBI spokesman Andy Ramirez described the scene in an interview with KUSA-9.
“There were shelves everywhere, filled with hundreds of glass jars. Each of them contained a penis floating in formalin.”
According to Agent Ramirez, the accused rapidly confessed everything as soon as he was arrested.
“He explained in great detail, how he had been cutting off dead men’s genital organs and collecting them for more than ten years.”
It took the FBI more than seven hours to gather all the organs and other pieces of evidence that were found on the site.
Dozens of federal agents were still collecting and identifying jars more than six hours after their arrival.
A dozen federal agents of the FBI’s Evidence Response Team were still identifying, collecting, and packing jars more than six hours after their arrival on the site.
A total of 53 criminal charges have already been filed against Mr. Turner and hundreds more could be filed over the next few days.
An anonymous FBI source told KISA-9 that the number of charges could reach over 3,000.
Tony Turner will remain in custody for the moment as a psychiatric evaluation has been ordered to determine if he’s fit to stand a trial.
If he is considered fit, he should appear in court in October for the beginning of the procedures.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.