CIA To Assist In Hawley Tiger Escape
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In a rare show of intergovernmental cooperation the CIA stated it would
assist Pennsylvania animal control authorities in recapturing the Siberian
tigers that escaped a caravan this morning when the truck they were
riding in crashed.
President Donald Trump has authorized the use of CIA assets stating
that the animal are a "clear & present danger to the state of Pennsylvania".
The CIA stated it would use surveillance assets, including satellites
and drones to pick up the trail of the tigers. "Wet" squads armed
with tranquilizer darts are to be deployed to the area on standby
in the event reconnaissance succeeds.
PA Animal Control spokesperson Elmer J. Fudd stated "We're glad of any help we
can get from the CIA. Really all we're good for around here is rabbits and ducks.
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