End of Cold War linked to Global Warming
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 46304 Shares
Forty-five (45) of the world's most renowned geothermal scientists from around the globe concluded a three week long symposium held at the Budapest University's Logic, Learning, Software, Hardware , Innovation, & Technology center, late this afternoon, after which they announced they had reached some highly important conclusions.
The consensus reached, was that there is now irrefutable evidence to suggest that the thawing of the "Cold War" since 1991, has lead to significant increases in ambient air temperatures within specific areas of United States and Russia.
The scientists pointed out that it wasn't as if there was no hot air production during the Cold War, but highlight it was released in a more sustainable, controlled manner. The sheer volume of hot air released was far less than the current day levels.
As noted in the closing statement of the symposium's report, "However, since the winding down of 'chill' between the US and Russia, and as a direct result of the new opportunities that were being opened because of the thaw, hot air production around Washington and Moscow increased beyond all previous expectations. As a direct consequence, the planet is now facing an unprecedented global catastrophe from global warming, unless immediate action is taken to prevent this human induced phenomenon from continuing."
As one scientist attending the BULLSHIT center hosted symposium acknowledged, during a fake media conference held shortly after the meetings had concluded, "The 25 years worth of data we extensively examined, collected from around Washington and Moscow, two areas particularly well known for being intensive hot air collection zones... has led all of us here to believe, without any shadow of a doubt, that the end of the Cold War has had a major impact in increasing global ambient temperatures."
"It's time our politicians took responsibility for this..." another scientist stated. "...We've all known it's been happening anecdotally. We suspected as much. Now we have the empirical data to prove it!".
"Politicians, no matter what their ideological leanings, now have no choice but to admit that responsibility for the cessation of any new significant pockets of hot air... is something that they alone must take responsibility for." another scientist commented, "We're looking for real leadership here."
As yet, there has been no official response to these claims, from either of the Washington or Moscow based governments.
But sources from within both governments do agree that instigating a new Cold War is not off the cards, and quietly admit that it is one proposed action, amongst several, that has been discussed internally for quite some time.
Several politicians from both China and India, after hearing the BULLSHIT symposiums findings, have already said that they encourage any and all future steps taken by American and Russian politicians to limit their local hot air production, and that they would consider following suit.
But only if assurances could be given that any economic and social disadvantage from doing so, would be offset with some extra help from the first world countries.
"We'll be watching all this very closely." said one Indian government representative who wished to remain unnamed at this time.
"We all know something has to be done. But America and Russia politicians must realise they have already reaped the benefits from their recent history of unfettered hot air production. Their economies have been built upon the very principle of 'hot air for all'. And if we are not to have that same opportunity... well, we'll, need help from them in other areas. It really is that straightforward and simple." he went on to further explain.
G. Taylor (Senior political analyst, GFN)
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.